Ahhh, gotta love the humour

I recieved yet more amusing jokes in my email today, so I am taking a break from cleaning the house top to bottom ( Gotta keep the mind active...the body too )...so here we go I hope you enjoy them...they made me chuckle...

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.


MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2004 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted

last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

lol - I like that one!!

Friends Reunited....oh how true!

"I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day.
we lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. "Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge! "Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute! "Anyway", "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!" she giggled...
...so I told her to f***k off

And finally....

Two women are walking home after a girlie night out. They are very drunk and as the walk home is taking some time due to their state they find themselves desperate for a wee. At this moment they are passing a church and decide to relieve themselves
behind the headstones in the graveyard. As they finish, they both realize they have nothing to wipe themselves with. So the first women decides to use her knickers and throw them away. The second woman is wearing very expensive underwear and is reluctant to lose them, but then she notices a new grave nearby with lots of new fresh flowers, amongst which is a very lavish bouquet with thick soft ribbon. 'just the job' she decides and without another thought duly pulls the bouquet over and uses the ribbon to dry herself. Their task is completed the women continue staggering home. Next morning, the husband of the first women phones the husband of the second-" we need to keep an eye on our wives, Mine came home with no knickers on last night!" You think you've got problems" explains the second husband. My wife came
home last night with a card stuck up her a*** that said, " we'll never forget you - from all the lads at the fire station"


Just a couple I liked from the email...Quote of the day and facts are back weekdays :) Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Rich...AKA - The Madman

Currently listening to Blue Monday by New Order