And life goes on...

Hello everyone...I am so pissed off right now, it's only small, but I need to get it off my chest, and I aint talking hair here!!!...

OK, in April I was fired from my job for...DUN DUN DUNNNN, Changing some paperwork, which is not as bad as it sounds...( And if I ever run into that piece of crap that I used to work for, hes not going to be able to walk very far when I finnish with him ) Now my problem is this....It seems I am now scum of the earth as far as employers go even though supposedly my old firm are not allowed to disclose info as to why I left, not even a damn Supermarket job fits my bill...and being an Ex Store Manager, you would think I may be of some use to people....*sigh*, only time will tell I guess to see if this curse ever gets lifted from my shoulders and I may be able to work again...who knows, maybe I won't....Life deals a shitty deck sometimes...mainly friggin jokers!!!!

Anyway time for some light heartedness!!! Below I have amassed a selection of quotes from the 3 original Starwars Films that could be percieved as sexual...so...A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...

"Star Wars IV: A New Hope"

1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care *what* you smell!"



"Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back"

1. "And I thought they smelled bad...on the *outside*!"
2. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
3. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?"
4. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
5. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
6. "But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cummm..."
7. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me!"



"Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi"

1. "Rise, my friend."
2. "Open the back door!"
3. "Hey, point that thing somewhere else!"
4. "It's just a dead animal..."
5. "Not bad for a little furball."
6. "How can they be jamming us if they don't know we're coming?"
7. "Come here, I won't hurt you. You want something to eat?"
8. "Keep on that one, I'll take these two."
9. "I want you to take her. I mean it, take her!"
10. "I don't think the Empire had wookies in mind when they designed her, Chewie."



Top ten sexually tilted lines from the trilogy

10. "What could possibly have come over Master Luke?"
9. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
8. "You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?"
7. "I never knew I had it in me."
6. "Someone must've told them about my little maneuver at the battle of Taanab."
5. "There is good in him, I've felt it."
4. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost...you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me, Chewie. Chewie!" (Han) with "A little higher, just a little higher."
3. "Short help's better than no help at all."
2. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
1. "Back door, huh? Good idea!"

And now this....

Albany, New York - Scott Bernstein, who called the Colonie New York Police Department 6 times hoping to find a prostitute, not believing, apparently, the female dispatcher who kept telling him he was reaching the police department and who kept hanging up on him. On the sixth call the police had had enough and arranged to meet him at a hotel. He then only had one more phone call he could make, and it wasn't for a prostitute.

Well, my hilarious blog for the day is almost over, but I found this picture of Zippy from Rainbow and it just makes me laugh so I wanted to share it with you all...all the best, speak to you all soon.




Quote of the day:- "My appetite is so good that I can eat the tablecloth right off the chair." - Joseph Moakley, Massachusetts representative