Christmas time...Bollocks to it

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How sad is it to stop believing?

During a film called - The Polar Express, all about a little boy who does'nt believe in Santa, hops on a train that appears out of nowhere and gets whisked off to the North Pole ( with adventure on the way ) to see Santa. I got deep in thought, and found myself welling up, not because the film is sad, but for the whole Wanting to believe in something magical, and why it dissapears from our lives.

Trying to think back to when I was little was very hard, but I do remember the magic, the special feeling of Christmas...the True meaning of Family values, the wonder of why a Jolly Fat Man comes into your house in the dead of night, eats mince pies and drinks sherry ( he must be the Alcoholics annymous's faveorite member of the year ), leaves you a plethora of gifts under the christmas tree for being good, and for all that to just dissapear from life is very sad....

I dont remember when I stopped believing...

I was'nt told Santa did'nt exist, I guess I kinda grew out of it, but would'nt it be such a nice feeling, to get those values back into our lives? not neccesarrily Believing in santa, but to stop all this Commercialisation of the main event of the year...what is Christmas without values?...money spinning, thats what. What ever happened to "The Thought That Counts". Now it's "Must buy the most expensive presents to appease everyone in my family". something gone a little Kah Kah there.....

Remember a time way back, when it was a thrill to recieve but an Orange in your stocking, an ORANGE! Yes, I know times have changed, but if people can be happy with an Orange for Christmas instead of an Orange Contract mobile phone, why can't we be happy for the small mercy's we give and recieve.

Why does it have to be a laptop, a mobile phone, CD's and DVDs, does that show we love eachother? no!, does it show we care? maybe, but what says Love and Care more than a Hug, a kiss and an "I Love you"...what better gift it there than love at Christmas? instead of the "Heres a bunch of presents that cost me the same amount as paying off our mortgage", what do they mean? nothing, they are material goods. Money Cannot and never will buy Love at Christmas, or any other time of year. Appreciate eachother for who they are, not whats in the wallet. Presents are over rated and not neccessary in my opinion ( well not for adults at any rate ), watch the kids, enjoy them believeing in what we stopped believeing in so long ago, and enjoy eachother! Christmas, it's a love thing...not a burn money time of year.

So next year, maybe stop and think about those who have no money to burn, to buy luxury goods with, who freeze to death on the streets. Does'nt seem like such a good deal now does it? I know we can't help them all, but help some we can. So Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.

The World Gets Stranger...

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Right, now I know some people open their mouths without thinking...but...here is a list of things actually complained about by council property tenants.... All are true!....Strange....but true....

My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.



He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.



It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.



I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6 am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.



I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.



And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.



Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.



My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?



I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.



Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.



I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.



50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.



I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.



The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.



Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.



I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.



The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.



Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.



I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.



I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

***End of Complaints***

Just so you knew where they ended ;)

Anyway, I will blog again soon, when I have something to write about, I'll be back!

Torchwood

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How many of you tuned in last night to watch the Torchwood double bill?...

Fantastic! thats one word...spooky, funny, intense could be others, how well written was that show!! well done to Russel T Davies for bringing such an imaginitive show to the UK screens...heavily inspired by Joss Whedons Buffy and Angel seasons ( Davies own words ), brilliant make up and effects - Can't wait for next weeks show! Oh and if you missed it and want to get it on DVD, the first part will be available from the 26/12/06 :) Oh and did you know - Torchwood is an anagram of Doctor Who? :)



Captain Jack and Gewn

It was a night of laughter in this house last night, few friends round - Torchwood and a film called - The Longest yard, if you hav'nt seen this, then I suggest you watch it. Adam Sandler is again at his comic best with a great supporting cast which includes - Burt Reynolds, "Stonecold" Steve Austin, Goldberg, Kevin Nash, Chris Rock and a host of other great actors, one to tickle your funny bone!

Now a gripe...

Yesterday afternoon, the house 2 doors down from us decided to start letting fireworks off from about 5pm in the back garden...you might think that this is fine, but the gardens are not very big, the people concerned had been drinking all afternoon and were being very silly about lighting them...so anyway it all subsided, until 7pm when it started again, no consideration to the fact that kids were in bed, in fact one of the bangs was so loud that it woke up some of the kids several doors down, and they were all screaming and crying....the last firework that went up, bounced off the guttering, slammed back down to their garden and exploded practically in the house....with kids inside....and the attitude was ( when they were told by their partners to stop being stupid ), "I'm 24, I don't give a fuck, stop moaning" etc etc etc....well sorry pal, but had any of the kids in the house been hurt by that firework, then I think you damn well would "give a fuck", or at least the police would be making you eat those words...Why Fireworks are sold before November 4th is beyond me!!!! It encourages childish behaviour with them, I know it sounds harsh, but I wish one of them had gotten their hand blown off, or one in the eye....stupid bastards!

Rant over...

And now this...

Strange But True:- In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs!

Incey Wincey.....

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So it appears I was this in a previous life...

You Were a Spider

You tend to be the master weaver of fate - both for yourself and those you know. A creative force, you tend to work from divine inspiration.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Go figure...find it hard with 2 legs, let alone 8 of the blighters...

Until next time....*Spins a web*

I was Working in my lab...Late one night!

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Did my eyes behold an evil sight?...if you class a quick reflection glance as evil, yes...yes I did lol

So I took another of these silly tests, this time to see what pumpkin I would be....and this is what it said.

You Are

A Scary Pumpkin Face You would make a good pumpkin and liver sandwich.

What's Your Pumpkin Face?

lol, what pumpkin face are you?....take the test, go on..

On the subject of Halloween, does anyone else think that the masks are getting a little on the B movie side of scary now?...next year, Wes Craven will be buying them all as they will be so realistic...I am referring to them being pretty scary looking if you happen to be a pentioner on the end of a Trick or treating mob. I for one think that masks should be toned down, and perhaps Halloween not being so glorified...are we the UK or the bloody USA???? I don't mean that Halloween should'nt be fun, on the contrary, but it's getting a little out of hand year after year.

On the subject of Halloween, I think it's pretty sad that alot of Schools are now banning anything to do with the festival. I mean, if thats the case, lets ban Religious Education while we are at it...I mean Halloween is after all a PAGAN festival, and PAGAN is a religion, so why stop teaching the kids about it...it's not Devil worship for goodness sake!, I for one would like my Son to learn about all the different religionsm it's educational!!!! Lets ban Easter next because that celebrates Jesus! dear me...what is this country becoming?....

On a different note, over the weekend, I had eaten a few things which I had taken out of my diet and went up to 15 stone 8 pounds....I am pleased to report that my weight is now down to the regular weight of 15 stone 5 pounds *Flags out*

Anyway thats it for now, catch you again soon..

Strange but true:- Smelling bananas and/or green apples (smelling, not eating) can help you lose weight!

I am from Pluto...Apparently....

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It's one of those little silly things to try out and add to your blog...well read my results below!

You Are From Pluto

You are a dark, mysterious soul, full of magic and the secrets of the universe. You can get the scoop on anything, but you keep your own secrets locked in your heart. You love change and you use it to your advantage, whether by choice or chance. You don't like to compromise, to the point of being self-destructive with your stubborness. Live life with love, and your deep powers will open the world to you.

What Planet Are You From?

Where are you from?....

Take the test, and let us all know :)

For the Love of a Daughter....

You know, I don't want sympathy or any advice because you can't give me any that I hav'nt tried already....But I have just for some reason been sitting here playing a game on the PC, when my Daughter pops into my head....a burden I have carried for over 8 years now, yes I have a Daughter, she is 8 years old and lives in the USA with her Mother ( thats the polite term I shall use )....and it all started when...

Internet romances, they happen don't they, well Rebecca is a living proof that it works, it also is about to show how suckered in I got with this situation.

I met Jamie Price ( Yes that is a girl ), on the internet in a chatroom when I was 20, we chatted for ages ( weeks, months ) and we had feelings for eachother, we phoned eachother alot ( big phone bills )...eventually she decided she would come over to the UK and see me and stay as long as she could ( Which is 6 months on her Passport ). This happened, I was a happy bunny, the happiest I had been in a looooong time. We hit it off as if we had known each other for years.....well lets cut the story short - zoom forward 3 months, we find out she was pregnant, I was ecstatic because all I ever wanted was to be a Daddy....had been working with Children in a playworker and even a Youth working assistant for the best part of 6 years at that point....

Moving forward....We decide it's best for her to return to USA and get passport and working Visa sorted out so she can come back to live here in the UK and so that the baby would be born here to be a UK Citizen...

Fair enough I hear you say....

Well yes, everything went fine, she got on a plane and flew off home, and I cried my heart out that day....and missed her every day, phoned her every day for updates.....this did drag on a bit, I even asked for the British Embassy number so I could contact them....she gave a phone number.....oh yes, for a Pizza house in America...."Strange, thats the number that I call when I phone the embassy".....Well, it never worked for me, why did alarm bells not ring at that point I still ask myself today!!

So to cut some more time out of the story, she was due to have our baby in Decemeber, it was no November and despite her telling me her Mom was going to pay for me to go over to be with her, nothing happened.....I waited....and waited....finally my Mom who was widowed when I was just 17 years old put the money up for me to go to America to be with her to see my Daughter born.....GREAT!

So off on an adventure I went, America, the south of America - Louisianna to be exact, great place, friendly folk there too. They met me at the airport and we headed off to what I would be calling home for the next 3 months....Well, it was'nt the Ritz, it was'nt even a house.....it was a Trailer.....big one, but a little in need of repair in places lets just say.....

So, spin on to the end of November, skip past the sweltering heat and the horrible midgie bites etc....December 7th Arrived and the Doctors decided to bring her in to stay at the hospital as baby was due any day soon....great hospital, enough space for another bed which Partners can sleep there, which I did.....

Spinning on, my Daughter was born at 9.38 pm on December the 9th and I was there for the entire thing, never regret that ever....

So after a couple of weeks of being housebound due to too hot for baby to go outside, I start to get the plan together to get moving on the UK trip, only had until February to get sorted....we had the letter written and were on the way to the post office to post it, when she says "Why don't you go look at the PC games and stuff while I post this".....Again, alarm bells should be blowing my head off, but they did'nt.....

Lets spin past when I had to go home and leave my daughter at the airport with her Mother, promising it would only be a couple of weeks until I see them again...

Spin forward......Phone calls again, every day, whats the situation, I managed to get the Embassy on the phone this time from home and gave them a case number ( Which she had given to me ), and they said they could'nt find the application on the system.....Alarm bells should now be so loud the country should be shaking....but me being me, was suckered in AGAIN.....maybe they misplaced it I think to myself...

Then the worst happens.....

She phones me and says "Great news, I have a flight booked for August 17th, we're coming to be with you"....

Spin to August 17th......

Phone call "We have been delayed on the tarmac, we have a shuttle bus taking us to a hotel, picking us up in the morning"........

Fair enough, think I.....Mom phones to find out whats going on ( as she was going to take me to pick them up ).......she phones me back within 10 mins and drops the bombshell "I hate to tell you this, but there is no Plane due to land at that time or has there been any delayed flights from Baton Rouge air port"......

Oh........My........God! *Panic* what, why? what did I do wrong?.....

Spin on 3 weeks.....*phone call* "I'm sorry" was the voice I heard......"What the hell have you done?" I asked....."there was no plane, or delay, or anything, you lied, where were you when you phoned me???"

Get this....."At a friends house"...

Spin on 8 Years........How much contact do I have - NONE
How many times have I emailed asking for photos - LOTS
How many photos have I been sent in the last 7 years? - NONE

No letters, no photos, nothing.....I may as well not exist....

Do I feel used? - oh yeah....
Do I feel resent? - only towards her Mother, who tried to blame me for everything
Do I want to see her? - Of course, I would jump at the chance...
Do I know where she is living now? - No
Is there anyone I can contact to find out - No
Do I miss her? - Every day.......

Thanks for listening, I had to haul it off my chest....

HEEEEREEEES, RICHIE!!!!

Yes, I am BACK!!!, after a long absense the madman is finally unleashed back among the blogging world!!! So I hope you all had a fantastic Chrimbo and a drunken new years, I was pissed as a walrus on Whiskey Chasers....even though I was actually drinking Vodka and cokes....Hmmmm, never a good idea, especially mixing them with Rum alchopops...Ok so what were the casualties of such a night....well, when you look in a mirror and don't like what looks back at you....the mirror shatters via a swift punch to it's pane of reflection....one casualty....Casualty number 2, a nice glass covered picture in the bathroom, one swift punch to the center of the pane, and BOOM! no more picture glass...well, with the exception of the bits in my knuckles.....I guess what I am trying to say is....I am traveling that dark road again with very little light that lights the way...each path is scary and undiscovered to me and I am now on a stronger sedative like Anti Depressant issued by doctor death...ok ok, the GP :) still, I am on such a spiral of a rollercoaster when it comes to my emotions right now...friends help alot, but they can't be round me all the time can they?...

Anyway, I am trying so hard to get better, I hate this Dark side of myself so much but he refuses to leave, oh damn you, damn you damn you to hell, let the light return!!!....

My little boy is doing really well, still a really proud Daddy, but I worry that I might harm him....My partner is so supportive, and I love her to bits, but she should'nt have to put up with all this.....

I will do my best to keep you all posted much more regular than I did before, my Radio show is now 24/7 so go tune in, just completed show number 48, so it's going very well, it's the time when I feel like my old self again...Rob is still a great help being there, the men in white coats would have trouble putting up with me lol

Still thats it from me now, I shall speak again soon....wish me luck on my voyage to recovery...

Rich